Friends, Romans, Countrymen: The Origins Of Steak And Blowjob Day

Friends, Romans, Countrymen: The Origins Of Steak And Blowjob Day
taken from a forum post by TrenAman


The exact origins of Steak and Blowjob Day are not exactly known to many, but there are many scholars who claim the holiday was originally created by the Romans to celebrate the harvest of beef and was set coincide with a full moon.

Archaeologists have found ancient scrolls that describe the primitive traditions of the day we now refer to as Steak and Blowjob Day. Many believe the Romans declared the holiday as a day of relaxation, it is rumoured that the Roman Empire fell because of too much steak and too much blowjob during one Steak and Blowjob Day gone wrong.

The holiday was forgotten for many years and it seemed that this storied event was destined for the forgotten pages of history.

It was during the Age of Enlightenment that a young French merchant heard the tales of Steak and Blowjob Day and was set to resurrect the holiday. Many claim that the man had never received a blowjob before and he had a craving for a steak. After a hastily organized campaign the holiday became a staple of French culture. It was during this time that the holiday was celebrated on its current day of March 14th.

The holiday seemed to be everlasting during its heyday, but like many things, Steak and Blowjob Day was about the go through another dark period. It is rumoured that Napoleon Bonaparte banned the holiday because he was unable to sustain an erection. Anyone caught enjoying the holiday’s activities were sent to the guillotine. Many French began to refer to the blowjob as “giving head”, due this cruel and unusual punishment, the term is still used today by some.

Due mostly to fear, Steak and Blowjob Day began to disappear again. An underground movement started in England, a movement to restart the excitement of Steak and Blowjob Day, this time it would be on the other side of the world and few would know.

Upon arriving in the New World the secret society used subtle marketing and some political connections in Washington to get the word out about the holiday. Many women were upset that Steak and Blowjob Day was not fair, that they wanted a holiday. The solution was simple, to create a holiday tailored to the American female population, thus the creation of Valentines Day.

Throughout modern history some have tried to bring attention to the historic holiday, but for the most part the holiday was kept low key. In more recent times former president Bill Clinton made headlines due to the Steak and Blowjob Day he spent with an intern.

Tom Birdsey, a radio disc jockey for 103.7 FNX in Providence, Rhode Island brought the holiday to greater attention, by promoting the event through the station and on the internet. So now that you know the history of Steak and Blowjob Day, take some time to enjoy the holiday that your ancestors have fought for.

For more information on this fun holiday, visit http://www.officialsteakandblowjobday.com/

Click HERE to read my tale from last year.

Have a great March 14th!